He was my best friend


“He was my best friend. He was the last person who called me his best friend who I did not sleep with. When you are MY age, it matters. I was trying to ignore the anniversary. But it’s on my calendar. I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was Wednesday morning when I got the call from my friend Rachel who didn’t want me to find out in the trades or from some stupid news bit. I recall not reacting at first. It took a few days. Now I cry for him. Not as often as before. But I still cry. Today was not a good day.

Chiba told me this bullshit story the day he died. She told me, “Elliott and I got in an argument. I locked myself in the bathroom and when I came out he had stabbed himself. I tried to pull the knife out but now my fingerprints are on the knife and the police might think I did it”. Didn’t believe it then. Don’t now. I never could figure out how you could die from multiple stab wounds and have it be determined that you commit suicide. I fucking told the police at the time! And everybody who would listen to me. Fuck.”

Barbara Martinez


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