He was my best friend


“He was my best friend. He was the last person who called me his best friend who I did not sleep with. When you are MY age, it matters. I was trying to ignore the anniversary. But it’s on my calendar. I remember the day like it was yesterday. It was Wednesday morning when I got the call from my friend Rachel who didn’t want me to find out in the trades or from some stupid news bit. I recall not reacting at first. It took a few days. Now I cry for him. Not as often as before. But I still cry. Today was not a good day. Continue reading

On a sadder note…

©Steve Mirarchi

“On a sadder note…We’re all still bummed out about Elliott’s passing…I did what I could to put my emotions to some sort of positive direction, but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him and miss him…. I had been missing him when he was my friend, but I thought that there would come a day when we could hang out again and let bygones be bygones… The day will never come now, but there are always new friends to be made and maybe the friendships will be made through Elliott’s music itself… And there’s still a whole new generation now that needs to know who he was and hear his incredible music… I’ll always (as I did in the very beginning) continue to do my best to make sure he doesn’t go unknown…
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Having just returned, & not really having checked the forum

“Having just returned, & not really having checked the forum since just after the web page went up (thanks Charlie), I thought I should drop a few words. First, thank you to all the people who came down to the shows; especially those who got into the spirit & helped the shows fly. This may not have been our biggest tour, but in some ways it may have been our best, despite the difficult circumstances which overtook us along the way. I’ve got to thank Hella (& of course Janet) for showing me that, even as I may find it more & more difficult to tour, when the music kicks in it can still be amazing. Some people have written some nice things about the shows in the forum & we definitely appreciate that. 
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I don’t think Elliott really wanted to die

“I don’t think Elliott really wanted to die. There are people who I think are truly in so much pain that they want to end their lives. I don’t think that was his situation. I don’t think he was going to call Dr. Kevorkian to end his life because he was suffering so much. I think he was in a lot of pain, and I think he was trying to reach out to the universe somehow. And I think that he talked about ending his life a lot, and that was a byproduct of his drug use and the fact that he felt like shit. But he was such a sweetheart, and I don’t think he wanted to die. Continue reading

We were on tour, I forget – it has been a few years now

by chapman baehler
©Chapman Baehler

“We were on tour, I forget it has been a few years now, we were on tour when we heard the news that our friend Elliott Smith had died.
And I don’t think we will ever really know if he took his own life or whatever the actual circumstances were. But there were plenty of time when we were around him when we felt as though he was waiting for an answer, and he was waiting for something that was gonna come along and may be make everything bearable for him. And we can’t wait, we have to try to make right now, bearable enough, that’s all we can do, we don’t know what the fuck we’re gonna do so this song is about everybody who has ever felt like this moment is too much and hope that you can get to the next one.


Wayne Coyne (2011)

The circumstances surrounding his death


“The circumstances surrounding his death don’t sit well with me at all, but there was only other person there, so nobody will ever know. He wasn’t around the type of people where I could know for sure what would happen any more. He was surrounded by sycophants, so who knows what could have happened? He had talked about suicide for many years, but he was always such a chicken about getting hurt! And there had been times in the past where suicide seemed more likely.”

Autumn de Wilde

I found out that same day…

©Peter Ellenby

“I found out that same day… I used to work at a record store in town, and Elliott’s sister worked there too and was called to the hospital from the shop. So the news spread quickly, yet was still kept under wraps. The next day when it officially broke, it was like a whole community gasped for air. We’d been holding our breath, keeping it in, and suddenly we could all say what we were thinking. Why? Wasn’t he doing better? I don’t know, he’d looked awful the last time I saw him… I’d heard he’d been clean for a while. Didn’t he have a new record in the can? Everywhere I walked that day, it seemed Elliott Smith was on every turntable. (My brother happened to be in the Haight Ashbury the day Jerry Garcia died, and he had a similar experience. Except much more patchouli & sweat scented.) Continue reading